Gay spirituality has been long sought and hard fought. Let’s face it, a large percentage of us grew up in churches that condemned us. It is completely common to go through a strong questioning period where spiritual answers seem out of reach and you end up looking for some sort of confirmation. The problem is that there is no actual confirmation, but the journey is still well worth it.
Most of us started on our journey when we were young. Sometimes we didn’t even realize that the words we heard cut so deeply because they were actually about us. Sometimes we did.
This led to a natural progression of questions that were taken away from the church and into other possibilities. Some people created groups and offered emotional and spiritual support along with the fight for social justice.
Fortunately, spiritual answers do not necessarily have to come from a church or a person of religious affiliation. Not all of us culminate our gay spirituality quest on the steps of a religious building. We’ve gone from the efforts of a few brave religious figures reaching out toward the community to what are now known as open and affirming churches.
If your family is particularly religious it can be difficult to reconcile your emotional and spiritual ideas. Your emotional side remembers the prayers, the “treatments, ” and the casting out while your spiritual ideas look further inside. There is no admission from the religious affiliations that cast you aside, and there is no confirmation from their view that you are just fine the way you are. That’s for you to find out. Many would say that’s for you to feel.
Sometimes your spiritual answers are all around you. You might find that the miracle of your partner or the miracle of having a family together is enough of an answer. You may be wandering the world and simply gathering bits of a spiritual journey. You don’t have to receive your gay spirituality badge from an actual religious figure if you don’t want to. Your journey is very much within your own control and you have many choices. You can change your options whenever you please as well, making your choices ever more abundant.
Historically, religions and spirituality do not even have to mean the same thing. While we make the associated connection, spiritual beliefs are of a totally different make and model. Religion is a taught belief system. Spiritual beliefs are a felt and internal belief system. Bringing the two together can be make for interesting spiritual journeys but one that can be done in your own way. Having the option to figure out what works for you is really the key.
Of course, if joining an open and affirming church feels good to you, by all means they offer a great spiritual sanctuary. The biggest point of all is that along your journey of today, there are actually choices. You get to find your own gay spirit, church or no church, which is a step forward in and of itself. Since your journey never needs to actually end, you get to choose your direction all the time.
Report by Howie Holben on gay retreats. Spirit Journeys also offers gay meditation retreats.

April 17th, 2010
Howie Holben
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